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Laughter fueled by too much liquor and swearing fed by frustration. Voices raised in anger, seething with barely contained violence. The sound of a bottle shattering into a billion pieces on the side walk across the street. Hip hop or RnB exploding from a bar every time the door opened. And always, the frightened pitter patter of my heart every time I heard footsteps behind me. Eastside, baby. The Twomps. Christmas time in ‘01, motherfucking Santa doing lines for fun, snorting snow, ho ho ho,. It was not surprising that I saw him he was beautiful. A tall dark and handsome specimen with flowing dark hair and piercing blue eyes and a chillingly unearthly quality. What was so startling was that he saw me. Now we all know that humans can not see our kind unless we choose for the to. And so I knew that he was of the spirit realm. And then he unfurled his wings and they came down around him in a rush of wings blacker then coal. I gasped knowing from where he came. But how could he posses. “Different shithole, same shit.” He eyes my ribbon rack critically. “Guess you’ve seen a few shitholes.”“A few.”He nods toward Malone. “He said you didn’t have to do this.”“Like I told him. We all have to do this.”A terse, joyless smile. “Thanks anyway. You have a bugler?”“He’s already at the graveside.”He nods and I can’t tell if he’s relieved or disappointed. Maybe a bit of both.We wait silently, until the van shows up with my casket detail; I get them arranged and we go over the issues. None. "As we trotted back to his place, Blake patted my ass, and I dribbled again.LUCIA(Friday 12/9)They liked me! They didn't think I was a whore or I was vile or degraded! They wanted me to be happy!God it had hurt to talk about it, but I'd actually felt better about it at the end, like I'd gotten rid of some of the locked-up pain. They hadn't been sympathetic at all -- I'd gotten enough "sympathy" in the hospital to make a maggot puke, and it hadn't helped a bit.After Louise and Blake left, Toro.
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